Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Zapped! - Whoa-ho-ho It's Magic...You Know!

1982 – 96 min
Directed by: Robert Rosenthal
Starring: Scott Baio, Willie Aames and Heather Thomas (with special appearance by Scatman Crothers and Eddie Deezen)

There are rules to the 80’s teen sex romp or more appropriately, a loose set of guidelines.

Rule 1: It has to be from the 80’s, I know it seems obvious, but the romps from the 70’s and from the 90’s are very different.

Rule 2: It HAS to have a fun opening theme song. This is not an option, if it doesn’t have a fun opening theme song (or fun music throughout for that matter) then it just doesn’t fit the bill.

Rule 3: It has to be lighthearted. Romps cannot be too serious, except for the one mandatory scene of the main character fucking up his relationship with a girl in order for him to learn a lesson

Rule 4: There has to be sex, this is a SEX romp after all.

Rule 5 (optional): Eddie Deezen should be in it.


Zapped manages all of these elements. Scott Baio plays Barney, a nerdy (but not too nerdy) lab rat that’s working on a concoction to make plants grow at an amazing rate. Willie Aames (who went on to play Bibleman, ugh) is Barney’s best friend Peyton who, needless to say, is having Barney use his tonic to grow a crop of super fast growing pot (Jesus wouldn’t be too happy with that).

"Come on Barn, lets go to Vegas!"

One day while conducting experiments on his mice and through no fault of Barney. Somehow some of the marijuana extract gets mixed with the hyper grow formula and to make things fun, Peyton adds a little beer to the mix. During a little mental tug of war with the mouse (who had gained the powers first) the mixture gets knocked over and Barney finds himself with telekinetic powers. This allows all sorts of fun to be had; from moving around objects, popping open girls blouses, rigging carnival games and gambling and making his mother think he’s possessed. It’s all good fun for Barney.

I think you all know what's going to happen next...

You've been ZAPPED! Heather Thomas

Now this wouldn’t be a teen sex romp without the sex. I have to admit that Zapped is a little light on the sex, which is fine because it more than makes up for it with a climax that feature bizarre and utterly insane nudity, so it’s worth it. The only two sex scenes (implied now shown) are between Peyton and the gorgeous Heather Thomas and Barney and his love interest, the equally nerdy Bernadette. The climax though is the fun part and must be seen to fully comprehend and believe you me, Zapped! Is one of the best!

Oh and Eddie Deezen is in it briefly as a nerd talking about how his roommate beats off every night! Truly a must see! Just make sure your VCR is well grounded or you might get ZAPPED!

He sure is!

9 out of 10!

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