Tuesday, February 9, 2010


I think in this picture that idiot's shirt says "I'm a hempavore"? see below to read what it really says

The term sexpot used to stand for something awesome. It meant a young woman with ample supply of sex appeal. Sadly the term from now will mean “shitbox movie”. Sexpot is quite plausibly the biggest waste of time I’ve ever endured and let’s not forget my recent experience with Transformers 2!

Sorry Ms. Bardot, your visage has been replaced in my memory with that of a substandard direct to DVD pot comedy...for shame

Sexpot at it’s best is a pale imitation of American Pie, an already terrible movie. It stars a couple of worthless actors who, if lucky, will never act again and a storyline that (at best) is laughable. Spanky and his idiotic pervert friend (who wear a shirt throughout the course of the movie that reads “I [heart] to beat my meat”) watch a bunch of terrible porn and smoke some magic weed that makes you horny (get it SEX POT! Ugh) and it’s implied that one of them sucks his friends dick; this issue is never revisited again in the film.

It's a fact: Pot humor IS allowed to be one told these guys

They sneak out on to the ledge and spy on their neighbors who of course are getting naked and one of the neighbors decides to take a shit. This is the quality of the film, get where I’m going with this. The neighbors invite these two buffoons to a party and the rest of the film is them getting there and back. I’d be hard pressed to think of two redeeming qualities of this stinker. It’s not even a “so-bad-it’s-good” kind of movie; it’s just a “so-bad-it’s-BAD” movie. There is one nice thing about the movie, the rather large breast count. I’m not saying that all the boobs are nice; there are just a lot of them.

Between dealing with a crazy ex-girlfriend, dealing with Spanky’s ED pill induced boner, issues with tranny hookers, Spanky accidentally fucking his sister and everyone suckering them out of money you’d think this would have some quality jokes, but all there are is the premise and zero follow through. Ideas that are presented one second are forgotten within minutes and when we finally get around to dealing with the (I’d imagine) emotionally scarring scenario of having had sex with ones sibling it’s tossed aside like the so many offers that must have been rejected to rewrite this script.

I wouldn’t recommend Sexpot to my worst enemy, there are so many more films of this ilk that are so much better and funnier. Shit, the notoriously terrible clunker meatballs four (starring Corey Feldman, the lesser of two Coreys) is head and shoulders above this steamy pile. But wait there’s more, Sexpot also boasts some of the worst “special FX” I’ve ever seen. Portions of the film are shown in “3-D” though, by their standards this just means that the characters are filmed up close blowing smoke into the camera.

I'd rather watch this hunk of crap...again

Don’t waste your time with Sexpot, I may not smoke, but I have a feeling that this would still suck horsedick(.MPEG?) high as a kite.

1 out of 10

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