Friday, February 25, 2011

Switchblade Sisters

Switchblade Sisters

The Dagger Debs are pretty vicious, callous and downright mean, and those are their GOOD qualities! Their leader Lace, played by the adorable Robbie Lee, lacks the ability to open her mouth and subsequently hisses and snarls every single word out of her mouth. Try talking without moving your jaw; I assure you you’ll end up sounding like Edward G Robinson before long. The Debs have an easy life, they rob, and they pilfer and loot poor unsuspecting truancy officers and hang with their boyfriends in the Daggers.

Adorable, but deadly

In a fortuitous case of wrong place/wrong time the Debs start a brawl at a hot dog joint and the “innocent” Maggie finds herself in the clink with the rest of the Debs. She quickly befriends Lace and before too long she’s in the Debs and being raped by Lace’s douchebag boyfriend Mungo…or something like that, he’s dead soon anyway so who cares. In a plot out of Shakespeare a twisted game of cloak and dagger (pun intended) ends with half the Daggers being gunned down in what was an attempt on Maggie’s life. Lace gets knocked around, Dom (Mungo) gets shot and killed, despite all this, Hook (named for his horribly bent John Thomas), otherwise known as Bob on that 70’s show survives to cower another day.

You get NOTHING donut!
Maggie pounces on this opportunity while Lace is incapacitated and the Gang secedes from the Daggers and changes its name to The Jezebels. They enlist the help of the militant “black panther” type gang to help take out the rival gang that gunned down the Daggers. Turns out Maggie had a case of the Jungle Fever, which apparently is all it takes to get a gang of white hating chicks to help a bunch of ignorant white chicks. This is the least believable part of the film, yup you heard that right, THIS is the least believable part of the film! 

This is what inspires the wrath of the Jezebels! THIS!
I’d feel bad if I ruined the incredible climax of the film for you, but rest assured it involves backstabbing and what can arguably be the greatest “advice” ever given to a cop “keep your ass off our turf, or WE’LL BLOW IT OFF! Ya dig?”

Switchblade Sisters (aka The Jezebels) is rife with amazingly brutal and violent dialog spewing forth from attractive women’s mouths. It pulls no punches in its harshness and leaves an amazing taste in your mouth which will leave you yearning for more amazing Jack Hill writing. The Script is one of the most quotable I’ve ever seen

“Like my dad used to say, God rest his ass...”

“Everybody knows your crank can hook a tuna.”

“Get your hands off me, you fat pig dyke!’

And the classic…

“If you go, it’s gonna turn out baaaad”

Art from exploitation
If you’re at all familiar with Jack Hill’s work, and if you’re not then you’re no friend of mine, then you will love every minute of Switchblade Sisters. It’s a joy from the second it starts to the moment it ends with a surprising lack of drag that this genre is notorious for. Check it out today and if you’ve already seen it…WATCH IT AGAIN!

5 out of 5!