Monday, July 4, 2011


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Allow me to pose a question to you. Do you enjoy movies that are pure insanity? Do you like storylines so flimsy and paper thin that a stiff wind could knock it over? How about GIGANTIC “Swiss Army” guns? What about horrible overdubbing? Then Brother have I got a movie for you!

Here's a bit o' the plot for ya: Fireback is the story of Jack (Richard Harrison), ambushed during the war he's brought home near death. Upon recovery he discovers his wife has been kidnapped and from there it's a punch-guys-in-the-face fest till Jack gets his motherfuckin answers! One clue after another lead Jack in an increasingly bizarre wild goose chase. Once the baddie Duffy Collins, in what is inarguably the single worst villain name in history, finds out that Jack is after him he kills Jack's wife and then the shit REALLY hits the fan. For some reason I think Duffy thinks that Jack will relent because his wife is dead. NOPE! Jack continues right on with his brutality Circus taking out hired thugs, goons, hitmen, a man with a golden claw and eventually A NINJA!!!
Though not this ADORABLE

Finally taking out Duffy you'd think that would be the perfect place to end right? Duffy gets his comeuppance and jack lives happily ever after? No that would make too much sense, The Filmmaker decides to tack on a post plot paragraph of exposition explaining that Jack later went on the lamb and was eventually captured by the police and DIED IN JAIL DUE TO A HEART DEFECT!!! WHAT?! The movie was all fists and guns till that last bit of reading and they end it on such a downer, so not only does Duffy die (as he should) and Jack's wife dies, but JACK dies as well. You can't make this shit up! Oh wait, THEY DID!

Fireback is a movie and a half, watching the trailer you'd think it was just another mindless war-in-the-jungle film, but that's really just the first 20 minutes or so. It's also the only time we see the gun from the front cover. It makes a very brief appearance, but does get used! Blows shit up real good too (read that in a southern accent). It's a shame really because it's featured so prominently on the box and I was really looking forward to seeing it destroy an entire Army. I can tell you, however, that one of it's finest selling points is a scope with 5X ZOOM! OH YEAH?! AWESOME! My Red Rider BB gun had one too.

The rest of the story takes place back home, which in this case I'm assuming is south east Asia. It's a pretty wacky plot with some really silly acting and/or overdubbing. There's a great character whose name eludes me at the moment (he's the one black guy in the film) and every time he's walking anywhere he's scatting and jiving to himself like an old minstrel show. I'd say it was racist, but I think you have to have some self awareness to truly be racists. I think the producers just thought that's how “the blacks”(I assume that's how they'd say it) talk over here in the US of A. There's a stripper who manages to take clothes off and still be as dressed as she was when she started. And did I mention the man with the golden claw?

The plot is insane. The acting is insane. The dubbing is over-the-top insane. Fireback is a must see

5 X Zoom out of 5

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