Thursday, April 22, 2010

Club Life

Club Life
Starring: Tom Parsekian, Tony Curtis, Dee Wallace
Written/Directed/Produced by Norman Thaddeus Vane

Every city has a seedy underbelly and in Club Life it seems hometown motocross hero Cal (Parsekian) is dropped right smack dab into the middle of the seediest Hollywood underbelly of them all. In the epicenter of this world is The City; a Pulsating and seething nightclub where all the local punks, new wavers, and rock n’ rollers inexplicably go to listen to Disco? Luckily for Cal he manages to convince the owner (Tony Curtis, doing his absolute worst tough guy impression) to give him a job as a bouncer. Cal is arguably one of the worst bouncers ever as he spends 90% of his time dancing or getting beaten up. It doesn’t help that his “boss” (coach, mentor, whatever) Tank seems to hate his guts and probably wants to kick his ass more than the local baddies (a gang known as the Scungilli). The best part is when Tank dies later in the film he’s treated like some kind of beloved best friend (he even gets a touching song during his funeral), but by all accounts he’s a total scumbag.

OK, Tony Curtis' 2nd worst tough guy

The shit really hits the fan when Cal’s girl from back home (Sissy played by Jamie Barrett) moves out to the big city. Apparently lover boy failed to even send her a letter while he was gone and now she’s a bit jaded. She hooks up with this punk who calls himself “the doctor” (they never really explain if he’s actually a MD or if he just has an affinity for scrubs) and gets herself hooked on the smack (say no to drugs kiddies). She also winds up as a fully nude dancer and sorry guys, it’s all body doubles for the nude scenes.

Maybe not quite the same*

The real meat of the film is in the fight scenes and musical numbers. Tom Parsekian makes both the fighting and the dancing look easy and fun. He glides across the dance floor like a naked Sissy across a greased up fish tank waterbed. He also manages some incredibly insane fight scenes; he fights a gigantic lesbian aptly named “Butch” for a job at her place on the weekends, he fights Tank (our mascot’s namesake) for the heck of it and he fights countless Scungilli men and local street toughs using (towards the end of the film) the most insane pair of Day-Glo neon light stick nunchuks you’ve ever seen. Of course let’s not forget that this is a musical at heart so there are several musical performance scenes that essentially act as a padding for the film to run out it’s full 93 minutes. The best of which is Sissy singing to a house full of lesbians about how she needs a good man (needless to say a fight breaks out).

I assume the Scungilli boys are named for their favorite dish?

The acting is surprisingly good and I will say Troma (who released this) did a great job finding a great flick to add to its vaults. It’s not nearly as crazy as Troma would become in the not too distant future, but it has a certain manic element that all Troma films seem to possess. Overall it’s a thoroughly enjoyable flick that’s just as easily watched sober, as it would be drunk. I bet a fun drinking game for this one would be to take a shot every time Cal gets beat up.

It’s Saturday Night Fever meets Roadhouse in this over the top extravaganza! Watch it tonight!

8 out of 10
Drink up…I’ve got movies to watch

* you know you want to see more LAZERTITS

P.S. As I was searching for pictures I had a very hard time finding a picture of the box art so I almost posted this up top

Admit it, you love it


  1. Too Much Energy! Woah Eee Woah oh! lol