Tuesday, April 13, 2010



Back in 1984 when breakin came out there were two things you could be certain of. One was that if someone started dancing a circle would form around them from out of thin air and everyone would clap and hoot to the dancer (especially if you're an unnown little actor named JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME!). The other was if you were a black street dancer you were not welcome in the hoity toity world of professional dancing. Breakin was created as an attempt to help curb the latter, with mixed results

Yup that's him the the black singlet, click the link above for a animated GIF

Breakin is white America’s introduction to break dancing. Sure there were other’s before it, but those were made for the street kids who participated in the culture. Breakin doesn’t even try to cover this up either. It’s the story of a white dance school student (supposed to be representing we the viewers) who is introduced to the world of street dancing. Her professors of break dancing are Ozone and Turbo, The finest breakers west of the Mississippi. They pop and lock like my knees after a long jog.

Ozone and Turbo as played by Shabba Doo and Bugaloo Shrimp (seriously)

So lil miss white girl (named Kelly just to prove how white she is) is introduced to breakin by her fabulously feminine black friend and immediately wants in on the deal. First she heads down to Venice beach to join in on one of the spontaneous dancer circles along with a young Jean Claude Van Damme (seriously, do a google search for Van Damme in breakin and you’ll find one of the funniest GIFs you’re likely to see). She then accompanies them down to the local juke joint where the local beat poets (in this case Ice-T) are spitting their rhymes. “yes yes y’all yes yes y’all cuz you know that I’m fresh y’all”, talent abounds.

Down at the club Ozone and the gang (surprisingly would have been shorter to just write “and turbo”) are getting ready to throw down with another dance duo called electro rock. Electro Rock throws them a curveball by bringing in a chick to mix things up. The look on Ozone’s face when they lose the dance off is devastating; he looks like someone just ate his puppy with a side of his childhood memories. This gives them the amazing idea to incorporate Kelly into their duo and the rest is history so to speak, but seriously she has to learn an entire new style of dance from scratch so you know what this calls for, MONTAGE!

Queue the music!

About ten minutes later and she’s a pro, ready to put her skills on display for the Electro Rock crew. They’re destroyed by Kelly’s new skills. Kelly decides to get her manager involved and tries to turn her new hobby into a full-fledged career. This causes a huge rift in the crew and because the movie’s going to end soon they get over it, set up an audition with a major dance production and win over the big wigs despite Kelly’s jealous ex dance instructor/lecherous creep’s best efforts to stop them.

Breakin is a lot of fun, there’s a comic bar fight while hilariously dippy country music plays, tons of crazy break dancing including a kid on crutches who rocks the house and let’s not forget Ice-T’s early rapping which is laughable to say the least. Breakin is easily watched alone or with friends, drunk or sober, either way it’s still great fun.

That guy slouched in front of the mic, yup...Ice T

8 out of 10

Drink up…I’ve got movies to watch!


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