Wednesday, January 27, 2010

My Year in Disturbing Film: Week 4 - The walls are closing in on me, just kidding I'm fine

My year in disturbing film is my weekly column where I devote a few paragraphs to the most fucked up films ever made. Each week I plan on subjecting myself to the most horrific and mentally damaging imagery my mind can handle. I can't promise you this won't be the week I wind up in the hospital...

Here is a reminder about my rating system for these films

The Fourth attempt to get me to start bashing my head into a wall is...

Dumplings – Bet you can’t eat just one

What was the movie about?
Dumplings, but seriously. A former actress (Mrs. Li played by Miriam Yeung) looking for the secret to a youthful appearance is introduced to a mystic (Mei played by Bei Ling) who may just have that. She claims that the dumplings she makes have the power to give anyone a radiant appearance and that she’s proof, though she refuses to say how old she is she does say she’s over 30. Like most of the movies on this list (I suspect) this film is a bit of a one trick pony. Dumplings plays out more like an extended premise than it does a full-fledged idea. Mrs. Li ponders what she’s eating, though she knows pretty early on what they’re made from, basically from there it’s just pondering if it’s right or wrong for her to be doing it.

Is the film disturbing?
The director (Fruit Chan) doesn’t pull any punches on this one and implies the main ingredient right from the get go of the film. It’s about a half hour in where they finally make overt references. Early in the film they seem to take great pleasure in showing long close up shots of Mrs. Li eating, these scenes alone may actually earn this movie a place on this list. The sound effects that are used during these (and every other eating scene) are grotesque and over the top gross.

I actually can’t really say much more without saying what the main ingredient is. So, let me just take a bite of this raw yellow pepper and lift the lid on today’s special ingredient. That’s right, aborted fetus. I discovered the ancient Chinese secret; it’s cannibalism. At first after Mrs. Li discovers what’s in her dumplings she can’t even look at them while she’s eating, but after a short montage of her eating them regardless of their need for a fresh diaper, she’s openly discussing the different effects that different age fetus would have on her. Once Mrs. Li is sufficiently fed up with her husband’s infidelity she demands only the finest. Coincidentally a local woman’s 15-year-old daughter has been knocked up by her father and they ask Mei for an abortion, oh did I fail to mention that Mei was an abortion doctor back in the day, convenient right? Mei was just mentioning how a 5-month fetus is the “most nutritious”, something about it having a layer of fat on it already and mentioned something about it tasting creamy. By chance and this is really lucky for Mrs. Li, a cursed child have more potency. We’re treated to an up-close and a little too personal view to a kill, I mean abortion. And we even get to see the placenta being delivered, which of course goes right into the fridge. Mrs Li. Eats the five month old fetus dumplings and attracts back her husband for a night, but the next day when she has guests over everyone realizes she stinks like rotten fish, didn’t wash well enough after your romp Mrs. Li?

I told you it was graphic, see!

Mr. Li overhears a conversation with Mei and his wife and discovers Mei’s shop and decides to have a meal. Apparently he orders the roast beef because he’s fucking her before the meal is done and it’s at this time we discover that Mei is actually 64. Mr. Li does what any red blooded man would do when discovering the hottest 64 year old out there, he fucks her again. Mr. Li is a dog; he manages to get a hotel worker preggers while he thinks his wife is away visiting family in London. The movie ends with a brilliant scene of Mrs. Li convincing this hotel room service tart to have an abortion and for some reason the doctor lets her be there while it happens, she even dictates to him how he should do it and they let her keep it! The final scene is Mrs. Li standing over the fetus with a meat cleaver contemplating if she can chop it up to make the dumplings. Well can she? Thwack…yup.

Other stuff happens in the film, but it’s all really too boring to even bother with. The movie is about abortion dumplings, who cares what else happens? I actually enjoyed the movie, but I’d almost like to see what the shorter version on “3…extremes” plays like.

3 abortion dumplings out of 5

Disturbitude: 5 for the crunching noises and the graphic abortion scene, it would have been a 7 if Bei Ling showed her disturbingly long nipples

Next up: Salo – I hope I survive

P.S. I need a snack

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